First of all, I have to thank everyone for all of the great and supportive feedback I received for creating this blog. I can't believe how addicted I became to writing and sharing my experiences with all of you, especially all the way from South Korea. But then it occurred to me, why did I ever stop?
To be completely honest...there were many times this summer that I sat at my computer staring at a blank screen. Typing. Then erasing. Then typing. Then shutting down.
Although I had a lot of incredible adventures this summer, I couldn't bring myself to share them because ultimately, I wasn't happy with where my life was. I came to Austin with a lot of hopes and dreams, but I wasn't fully committed to positively dealing with the hardships that came with living in a new and unfamiliar place. Those of you who really, truly know me, know that I happen to love working and that my life seems to always revolve around it in same way or another. I love being in an industry surrounded by professionals who support each other and are constantly faced with adrenaline pumping challenges that end in immediate personal satisfaction. Moving to Austin without a job was something that I was comfortable doing. I was warned and strongly advised to wait until I had something lined up, but I also knew I wouldn't be doing myself or anyone any favors for staying in Arizona. Naively I thought it would be hard but I would manage to find something with in a month or shortly after. I was prepared to work part-time jobs that I was over qualified for in the interim. But I was not prepared to be rejected by all of those jobs I was over qualified for.
After countless interviews and conversations with anyone who would speak with me and then getting no where, I found myself falling into a slump. I was drowning in rejection and getting no where fast. I didn't want to write because I had nothing to say. Nothing to share. I was embarrassed. There, I said it. I barely picked up the phone all summer because I was embarrassed that I couldn't get a job at the local grocery store or the coffee shop down the street. I was loathing. And I had no one to blame but myself.
With each day that passed, the light at the end of the tunnel was becoming more dim and I was fighting for air. Then someone finally cut me a break. For now, it's a seasonal job. But it's one of those jobs that seem to come once in a lifetime. Suddenly, I feel like I'm getting a piece of myself back. And maybe its just really a piece of mind. I am now some body's employee. And rather than drowning, I'm afloat once again...and I feel alive.
With this new feeling of self worth, I have been stumbling around the idea of blogging again. I began thinking about what my blog was all about and why I believed I had something to share in the first place. Then all of these thoughts manifested into the name behind my blog. The name of my blog is called, "The Existential Traveler" and although I am no philosopher, to me existentialism means that every experience you have in life leads to the experiences you will have in the future. Without taking risks or making difficult decisions, I wouldn't have made it to where I am today. In fact, I wouldn't be the person I have become.
It is with this reminder that I have decided to re-inspire myself and update the look of my blog. I have changed the title on the main page to reflect where my travels have taken me now...the Austin City. I finally feel as though I have the courage to share my experiences once again. I am on a new adventure after all.
But I will leave you with this. In my very first blog I ended with the words below:
All I can do now is leave with this, with words I hope I never ever forget:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by what you did do...Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
Words every existential traveler should live by...
Sometimes you just need a reminder...
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