It's safe to say times are really changing and people are doing things much later in life than in years past. When thinking about my generation, most of our mothers and their mothers and their mothers, were married and having children in their early 20s. You were almost out casted or "looked down" upon if you were over the age of 25 and without one of the two. Certainly by the peak age of 30, you were doomed for a life of social annexation, spending most of your time alone at your favorite coffee shop.
But today things are much different. Although there are still those girls that dream of nothing more than getting married and starting a family, there are also plenty of women who are now career driven and filing thoughts of "happily ever after" in the over-stuffed cabinets stored in the back of their minds. Women today no longer feel threatened. We have become strong and independent...no longer in need of a man to fulfill every need. Instead, society as a whole has drifted into this power struggle of constant change and new trends that have given people either the strength to accept it all and keep climbing the ladder or spiral downwards, drowning in a pool of their own insecurities.
Life is all about having choices and making decisions. But what if the decisions you make are the wrongs ones? Now I'm a firm believer in existentialism - that there is no fate or destiny for each individual. I do believe the experiences you have determine the events that will take place in your life. So combining this frightening concept with the idea that people are doing things much later in life, I often find myself wondering... is there more than one "mid life" crisis in one's lifetime? Think about it. If people aren't really starting their lives until their mid 30s, do we now have more time to "freak out" as we wander aimlessly through our 20s?
Now I wouldn't exactly say I'm having a mid life crisis, especially at the ripe age of 23. But I can honestly say I've had many frantic outbreaks of "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?" Most recently, I found myself saying those exact words here in Korea. It was a like a light switch went off. I went to sleep and woke up a different person. I like to think I'm doing okay but I have so many interests and desires and unfortunately society doesn't easily allow you to go in all directions (unless you are fortunate enough to have a rather large disposable income).
For instance, I'd love to start a trendy coffee/wine bar. Open a hip bed and breakfast. Be a food stylist. Study art and work at the MoMA. Travel the world and broadcast my adventures. I'd love to write a book. Design a shoe line. Perform on Broadway. Be a talent manager. Sing on American Idol. Work events on the cat walk. Be a personal stylist. Make clothing. Be a personal chef. The list is endless. I feel that as eclectic as I am with my own personal style, I am also eclectic with my dreams and aspirations. As I have all of these interests, and all in so many directions, I sometimes find myself in a constant hazy spin.
What I am describing is also what I consider to be one of those "crises". Is it possible to be 23 and having a "quarter-life crisis"? The answer is yes, because I can tell you my mind is always on a perpetual over drive. And I'm fairly certain I'm not alone in the matter. But I wonder, who made the rules? Why does it seem impossible to follow all of my dreams? It's moments like these where I have to step outside of my body and remind myself to breathe.
But am I really just avoiding the inevitable?
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